Loving Like Icarus: A Borderline Love Letter

My dearest,

That is the letter I’ll by no means ship. It exists solely right here, within the quiet house between my coronary heart and my fingers, between the reality I carry and the silence I select.

For the previous few months, the rain has been fixed, and in a quiet approach, I’ve welcomed it. There’s a solace in the way in which raindrops land on my pores and skin, masking the tears I refuse to shed in plain sight.

However now, the rain hardly ever comes. The scorching solar burns my eyes, exposing every part I’ve tried to cover. The warmth is relentless, making my unrest unmistakable, leaving no shadows for me to retreat into. As an alternative, they strip me naked, forcing me to see the ever-present clouds that linger over me — a actuality I’ve tried so desperately to disregard, to expel, to suppress. It’s a suffocating weight, like a cough rattling my chest however refusing launch. And the reality is that this, the three phrases caught in my throat — I like you.

My love, let me let you know a narrative a few boy named Icarus. He was the son of Daedalus, an excellent craftsman who had constructed many wonders, however none extra determined than the wings he normal from wax and feathers. They had been meant for escape, a approach out of the jail that they had been compelled into. However earlier than they took flight, Daedalus warned him:

“Fly too low, and the sea will pull you under. Fly too high, and the sun will melt your wings. Stay in the middle, follow my path, and you will live.”

Icarus nodded. He understood. Nonetheless, understanding is just not the identical as obedience. As a result of the second his toes left the bottom, the second he tasted the wind in his hair, he knew that he was not made for restraint. The world beneath shrank into nothing, and the sky stretched out earlier than him — infinite, open, his for the taking. At first, he stayed shut, listening to his father’s warnings. However the solar, golden and glowing, was calling him. The heat wrapped round him, whispering guarantees of one thing extra — greater than survival, greater than escape. It promised him every part.

So, he climbed. Increased than Daedalus. Increased than motive. Increased than any man had dared earlier than. However the solar is detached to longing. It doesn’t love, doesn’t yield. As Icarus reached for it, the wax that held his wings collectively started to soften. The feathers slipped away, one after the other, falling like misplaced goals. For a second, he hung there, weightless, suspended between the sky and the ocean. After which, gravity claimed him. He fell. By means of the air, by the clouds, by the house he had conquered simply moments earlier than. The ocean rose as much as meet him, chilly, cruel. The waves swallowed him complete.

Daedalus, watching from above, may do nothing. The solar didn’t dim. It didn’t waver. It burned, simply because it at all times had. It was by no means meant to be touched. Icarus had reached for one thing that might by no means maintain him the way in which he longed to be held — and he paid the value.

…

And maybe, so did I. As a result of once I first met you, I acknowledged the pull instantly. It was not love at first sight — not in the way in which individuals communicate of it in tales — however one thing quieter, one thing slower. A gravitational shift. At first, I informed myself it was nothing. You had been merely heat, and radiant in a approach that made individuals wish to be close to you. Regular, calm, effortlessly brilliant.

I was somebody who may overtly categorical my feelings, by no means afraid to put on my coronary heart on my sleeve. I used to behave on my emotions with out hesitation — celebrating them, chasing them, letting them lead me wherever they wished. Again then, I didn’t cease to query whether or not what I felt was admiration or love; I merely adopted the push, gasped on the depth, and let it devour me. However time, and the load of bruised hearts and bitter endings, made me cautious. I had realized.

Love, for somebody like me, for somebody with BPD, is not only love — it’s an all-consuming drive. I do know that everybody falls in love, that longing is common. However with BPD, each feeling is amplified, stretched to its limits till it turns into one thing insufferable, one thing unrecognizable. I needed to train myself restraint, to doubt my very own coronary heart, to second-guess each spark earlier than it grew to become a wildfire.

And also you helped. You by no means as soon as confirmed any signal of attraction towards me. You existed in a world the place I used to be only a passing presence, a pal, a well-recognized face in a shared place. I informed myself it was fantastic — in spite of everything, the issues I held near my id, the ideas I needed to share, weren’t the type that turned heads. And possibly that was for the perfect. It made it simpler to deal with work, to bury myself in duties and duties, to search out success in one thing aside from longing. However that phantasm of management solely lasted a 12 months.

Slowly, inevitably, we grew nearer. In a crowd, I used to be by no means the loudest, hardly ever the one to provoke, however in the suitable firm, I might be vigorous, my phrases carried by the momentum of these round me. The individuals we surrounded ourselves with shared the identical frustrations, the identical quiet defiance in opposition to the load of authority. There was a consolation in that, an unstated understanding. However when it was simply the 2 of us, the dynamic shifted. We had been each quieter, neither of us the type to fill each pause with dialog. And in that silence, one thing stirred — a discomfort that had nothing to do with awkwardness and every part to do with the pull I felt towards you.

I couldn’t share this with our mutual pals. I couldn’t. The thought alone made my pores and skin crawl with embarrassment. If anybody knew, I’d die from the humiliation. I felt pathetic. I didn’t wish to make a primary transfer. I used to be damaged sufficient because it was. While you by no means confirmed any curiosity, that ought to have been sufficient to make me let go.

So, I sought skilled assist — not as a result of I needed to, however as a result of I needed to. I stated aloud the phrases I hadn’t dared to share with anybody: I had fallen, and I didn’t know how one can climb out. The depth of my emotions was insufferable, suffocating. It wasn’t simply emotional — it was bodily. It felt as if a hole house had been carved into my chest, and the chilly wind rushed in, filling the void. I cried loads and pleaded for it to cease, determined to silence the storm inside me. I simply needed it to cease.

I needed it to depart me so I may operate, so I may transfer by my days with out this gnawing ache inside me. It was a blessing in disguise, although I didn’t see it that approach at first. Due to this, I used to be lastly pushed to hunt remedy, to drive myself into therapeutic. Love had already wrecked so many components of my life, and I refused to put money into somebody who had by no means even seemed my approach. I didn’t suppose I may survive one other heartbreak.

It was throughout this time that I used to be identified with BPD. One thing that had formed me lengthy earlier than I even had a reputation for it. Trying again, I can hint its presence so far as my center and highschool years, buried within the chaos of feelings I by no means understood. However as a result of it was undiagnosed, it remained untreated, unraveling in methods I couldn’t but comprehend. And so, my journey into psychotherapy started — not simply to outlive you, however to learn to survive myself.

…

They name it a Favourite Individual — a phenomenon recognized to these with BPD, the place one particular person turns into an emotional anchor, a singular drive round which every part orbits. A gravitational pull so robust that your presence turns into the axis upon which my feelings revolve. You might be my solar — radiant, unwavering, untouchable.

There was a time when this type of longing felt romantic, poetic even. It’s by no means nearly love, is it? It’s the approach your steadiness retains me from unraveling fully, the way in which your gentle makes the world really feel much less chilly. Like Icarus, I’m drawn to you, not simply since you burn so brightly, however as a result of, in your glow, I really feel like I exist. The way in which your quiet presence steadies me, makes my chaotic thoughts really feel, if just for a second, rather less frantic.

However the solar doesn’t attain right down to those that worship it. It doesn’t bend, doesn’t soften. It shines, detached to those who yearn for its heat. And so, I watched you — not simply with longing, however with one thing deeper. Admiration? Sure. Attachment? Definitely. Obsession? Maybe. I informed myself that if I stayed far sufficient, if I by no means reached too shut, I’d not burn. However what I failed to understand was that I used to be already falling, wings unraveling, the ocean rising as much as declare me.

It’s important to perceive that I genuinely strive. With BPD, love usually feels all or nothing — ecstasy or devastation, by no means a quiet hum. This isn’t one thing I intentionally search or management. For somebody with BPD, forming an attachment to a Favourite Individual occurs instinctively, not as a calculated determination. It’s not about looking for to fill a void with simply anybody, neither is it pushed by ulterior motives or opportunism.

I needed the sensation gone. I swear I needed the sensation gone. I repeated mantras — ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘This feeling will eventually die out’. If I comply with the sample of my previous experiences with misplaced loves, I do know that the depth will ultimately fade. I’ve even recognized moments when, with out warning, emotions that when consumed me merely vanished, leaving me bewildered by their sudden absence. However apparently, this sense towards you is extra affected person than I’m.

Even after nearly three years, after distance, after numerous reassurances to myself, the reality remained. As an alternative of fading, I’ve been given extra moments with you — extra glimpses into the components of you that you don’t readily present to others, the darkish facet of your ideas. Not fully, however sufficient. And it doesn’t repel me. It solely makes me fall even deeper.

I inform myself that I’m greater than this longing, that I’m complete with out you. However the fact is, I’ve allow you to form an excessive amount of of my world, and allowed you to turn into a mirror by which I measure my price.

I nonetheless cling to a threadbare hope, like a gambler unable to stroll away. I wait for one more second, one other likelihood to be close to you, one other silent, inconceivable longing to be fulfilled. However it isn’t nearly seeing you — it’s the way in which I indulge, even once I know it’s going to value me. I stretch myself skinny, giving greater than I can afford, spending greater than I ought to, as if proximity to you’ll someway make the longing simpler to bear. However it by no means does. It solely deepens the ache.

I inform myself I would like distance, that I ought to let go piece by piece. I make plans — reduce our conferences, resist the urge to achieve out, maintain again simply this as soon as. However plans are fragile issues. As a result of all it takes is a second — a flicker of impulse, the considered you crossing my thoughts on the fallacious time — and instantly, my fingers are typing out a message, my resolve crumbling earlier than I even acknowledge what I’m doing. And if by any likelihood you had been to name me, I’d come — with out hesitation, with out considering. Like a creature certain by intuition, drawn to its grasp, powerless to withstand.

…

Typically, I ponder — wouldn’t it be simpler if I simply confessed? Possibly it might convey me closure. Possibly that’s how I lastly peel you away from my thoughts. However each time the thought crosses my thoughts, I cease myself. There are three explanation why I’ll by no means let you know.

First, as a result of so long as I by no means say the phrases, you by no means need to reject me.

So long as I go away this longing unstated, it stays Schrödinger’s love — neither reciprocated nor denied, neither alive nor useless. A sliver of chance, irrespective of how irrational, nonetheless lingers. The second I lay it naked, that chance would vanish, and I’d be compelled to swallow the finality of it.

So I maintain my silence. I let the what-ifs maintain the phantasm, understanding full effectively that it is just an phantasm. And but, I’m not able to shatter it. Not but.

As a result of what if — simply what if — there was a model of you, someplace, who has felt this pull too? What if there was a universe the place we discovered one another in the identical approach, on the similar time, and the load of actuality didn’t pull us aside? I dream of that place. A world the place intimacy is just not an impossibility however a certainty. A world the place your contact is actual, the place I don’t wake to search out my fingers empty.

However I do wake. Within the witching hour, when every part remains to be and the silence is just too loud. I stare into the darkness of my room, into the vacancy beside me, and marvel — have I ever wandered into your midnight ideas? Have you ever ever woken within the stillness of daybreak and remembered me?

Once I was nonetheless a teen, I as soon as believed in one thing — that once I felt one thing this robust for somebody, in some unspecified time in the future, they should have felt the identical. Possibly the timing was not exactly aligned as once I felt it. Possibly earlier than, possibly later. However they have to. I didn’t know why this perception was so deeply ingrained in me. Maybe it was simply too cosmically merciless for it to not be true.

However it appears I’ve to swallow my very own phrases. It seems I used to be misplaced in my very own delusion. That it’s fully doable to be the one one with a coronary heart torn aside by this love. That I’ve by no means been greater than a pal to you. Actuality slaps me within the face, making me understand that this phantasm has solely been a fraction of my very own insanity.

Second, since you are your personal individual, with your personal burdens to hold.

And I’ve at all times recognized — I used to be by no means the individual you needed. You’ve got made it clear, in your personal approach, that you’re not prepared for love. Even when you had been, I’d not be the one you selected.

We’re too completely different — our worlds, our beliefs, our identities. The issues that by no means mattered to me, I see now, matter to you. And I respect that. I refuse to cut back you to an object of admiration, a fantasy born from my very own longing.

You’ve got your personal cross to bear. You’ve got your personal points: your worry of dedication, the immense strain of the values you maintain so dearly, and the expectations positioned upon you—each by your self and by the world round you. I see it in the way in which you hesitate, in the way in which you retreat simply when somebody will get too shut. You carry burdens that I’ll by no means totally perceive, struggles that form the alternatives you make, and the space you keep.

Maybe that’s the reason I may by no means convey myself to admit — as a result of love is not only about longing, however about honoring the fact of the individual we love.

And lastly, as a result of even when, by some inconceivable likelihood, you felt the identical, what then?

What may we do? What would change?

My situation is what it’s — one thing I can not undo, one thing that doesn’t merely go away with time. BPD is just not an affliction that may be cured; it’s lifelong, my very own cross that I’ve to bear. However that doesn’t imply I’m doomed to endure beneath its weight. That’s the reason I’m studying — to navigate, to handle, to melt its edges in order that it doesn’t devour me complete. I don’t wish to be outlined by it, nor do I need it to dictate how I like. However I additionally can not ignore that it shapes the way in which I really feel, the way in which I connect, the way in which my feelings surge like tides past my management. It’s one thing I carry, and at all times will. And so, I do my greatest to hold it with grace.

And what about you? You’ve got by no means belonged to anybody. You might be impartial, distant, untethered. That’s who you might be. And I’ve watched you lengthy sufficient to know that if sooner or later you might be about to decide on somebody, it won’t be me.

That’s the reason, even when the slimmest chance exists — even when you love me, I’ve to allow you to go. I like you an excessive amount of to allow us to step into one thing I worry would solely result in ache. We’ve endured an excessive amount of in our lives already.

…

So, I select to acknowledge it with out judgment, to easily say, Sure, I like you, and go away it at that. There isn’t any hope right here, no future, no reciprocation. It merely is. I’ve accepted it now, and maybe that’s the kindest factor I can do for myself.

As soon as once more, I consider Icarus — his physique weightless, his coronary heart reckless. He should have recognized the danger and felt the warmth in opposition to his pores and skin, however nonetheless, he couldn’t flip away. Maybe love, for me, has at all times been like that — an exquisite, inevitable fall. The notion of a soulmate looks like one thing that’s by no means meant for me. Maybe love, for me, will at all times be like this — one thing I carry, by no means one thing I maintain. And possibly that’s okay.

This letter is just not meant for you — it’s for me. A determined try, not to make sure my emotions are recognized, however to provide myself the house to follow being alone. To study to exist with out orbiting round you. To show myself that I wouldn’t have to be a slave to attachment.

I don’t wish to keep away from love. However I don’t wish to chase after it both. So, I go away this right here, within the realm of the unsent. A love letter to you, written not so that you can learn, however for me to launch.

All the time, Me

—

This publish was beforehand revealed on medium.com.

***

Does courting ever really feel difficult, awkward or irritating?

dating header long 1

Flip Your Courting Life right into a WOW! with our new courses and dwell teaching.
Click on right here for more information or to purchase with particular launch pricing!

***

—–

Photograph credit score: iStock

The publish Loving Like Icarus: A Borderline Love Letter appeared first on The Good Males Challenge.

Success Tales

ADVERTISEMENT:

Informasi mengenai KING SLOT, Segera Daftar Bersama king selot terbaik dan terpercaya no satu di Indonesia. Boleh mendaftar melalui sini king slot serta memberikan hasil kembali yang paling tinggi saat sekarang ini hanyalah KING SLOT paling gacor, gilak dan gaco saat sekarang di Indonesia melalui program return tinggi di kingselot serta pg king slot

adu88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://adu88.asia/

agoda88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://agoda88.asia/

aryaduta88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://aryaduta88.com/

bajaringan permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://bajaringan.asia/

bangkit88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://bangkit88.biz/
https://basket88.web/

batu88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://batu88.biz/

berita88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://berita88.biz/

best88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://best88.asia/

booking88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://booking88.org/

ceria88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://ceria88.biz/

cipit888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://cipit888.asia/

dinojp88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://dinojp88.com/

dosen88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://dosen88.org/

eyangslot88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://eyangslot88.biz/

f88bet permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://f88bet.asia/

forwin777 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://forwin777.biz/

gacoan888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gacoan888.biz/

gacor666 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gacor666.biz/

gambar88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gambar88.org/

gemoy888slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gemoy888slot.information/

gercep888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gercep888.asia/

gitar88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gitar88.asia/

gmail88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://gmail88.org/

grandaston88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://grandaston88.com/

grandmercure88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://grandmercure88.com/

hermes88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://hermes88.biz/

heroslot888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://heroslot888.information/

hoki222 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://hoki222.biz/

holidayinn88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://holidayinn88.com/

hotelharis88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://hotelharis88.com/

ibis88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://ibis88.asia/

ibisbudget88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://ibisbudget88.com/

indonesia88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://indonesia88.information/

inspirasi permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://inspirasi.information/

janjigacor88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://janjigacor88.org/

jitujp88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://jitujp88.com/

jokiwin88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://jokiwin88.web/

juragan66 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://juragan66.biz/

jwmarriott88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://jwmarriott88.com/

kedai88slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kedai88slot.biz/

kilau88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kilau88.biz/

kimjongun permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kimjongun.asia/

kiw88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kiw88.biz/

koi777 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://koi777.biz/

kucing permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kucing.information/

kudaslot88slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kudaslot88slot.com/

kuncigitar permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kuncigitar.org/

kuta88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kuta88.asia/

madu888slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://madu888slot.web/

maniaslot88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://maniaslot88.professional/

maxbet888slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://maxbet888slot.com/

mercure88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://mercure88.com/

mitra777slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://mitra777slot.biz/

mobilelegends88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://mobilelegends88.com/

moris88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://moris88.org/

motivasi88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://motivasi88.com/

nagacc88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://nagacc88.com/

nasigoreng88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://nasigoreng88.com/

neng88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://neng88.biz/

neototo88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://neototo88.com/

newslot888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://newslot888.biz/

ngopibet88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://ngopibet88.org/

nibung888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://nibung888.biz/

nonstop888slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://nonstop888slot.com/

nova12 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://nova12.web/

novotel88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://novotel88.com/

oli88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://oli88.org/

omset88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://omset88.com/

orientalplay88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://orientalplay88.com/

oxwin88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://oxwin88.com/

oyo88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://oyo88.dwell/

pahala88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pahala88.biz/

paris777slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://paris777slot.biz/

parsel88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://parsel88.com/

pesiarbet88slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pesiarbet88slot.web/

pizzahut88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pizzahut88.web/

planet777slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://planet777slot.biz/

pmg888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pmg888.biz/

pohon88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pohon88.biz/

polaris888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://polaris888.information/

prediksi88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://prediksi88.biz/

puas88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://puas88.com/

pubg88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pubg88.information/

pulaujudi88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pulaujudi88.information/

puma888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://puma888.information/

pusakajitu88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://pusakajitu88.com/

qqhok88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://qqhok88.org/

quiz88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://quiz88.biz/

quiz88slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://quiz88slot.com/

rajah permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://rajah.asia/

reddoorz88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://reddoorz88.com/

registrasi88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://registrasi88.com/

ribut88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://ribut88.web/

roblox88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://roblox88.org/

rockygerung88 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://rockygerung88.com/

rumah permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://rumah.asia/

microvip888 permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://microvip888.com

slot demo gacor permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun demo slot gacor permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun slot demo gacor permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun demo slot pragmatic permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun slot demo pragmatic permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun slot demo permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

akun demo slot permainan paling prime dan garansi imbal balik hasil besar bersama https://kdwapp.com/

slot demo gacor

akun demo slot gacor

akun slot demo gacor

akun demo slot pragmatic

akun slot demo pragmatic

akun slot demo

akun demo slot