An previous good friend of mine, a psychologist with fifty years of scientific expertise, has watched me threat my neck greater than as soon as. He was there after I’d been crazed about leaping off cliffs on a paraglider, or raced with a mad abandon down treacherous ski runs¾just a number of of my dozen wildman exploits. He mentioned not too long ago, over a cup of espresso, that he was deeply impressed that I’d given up the madness of dangling my neck over the razor’s edge for kicks. He was satisfied that my wayward years had been behind me. And that I had turn out to be extraordinarily disciplined in Zen apply.
For enjoyable, I Googled the basis phrase of self-discipline and skim that “disciple,”which comes from the Latin phrase discipulus, means “student.” And a Zen scholar could be one who pays cautious consideration to the specifics of how the thoughts drives us loopy.
So, when he mentioned that I used to be disciplined, I replied, “Zen would say that when a person has worn out all the strategies of distraction, when he is intelligent enough to see that nothing else will work to bring peace or diminish his suffering—that state common to all humans— then he sits. And sits.”
“Yeah, but how can you do this so diligently after decades of traveling far and wide, a life of mad adventures?”
I sipped my cup of Joe and tried to clarify how Zen had by some means delivered the promise of a spacious thoughts. Despite my historical past of mountain-flying, bullet-dodging, shark-hunted daredevil, wild-cat adventures, I survived. Towards all odds, I’ve by some means matured into the conclusion that my madman shenanigans had been truly standing in the best way of discovering, via Zen, to get out of my very own approach and let myself be.
He raised his eyebrows. “Tell me more.”
I discovered a blueberry muffin within the fridge that didn’t look too moldy, heated it within the microwave, and retold him the story of my first encounter with threat in 1968 after I’d been almost crippled whereas working with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. I remembered the rose-colored daybreak, how my worn sneakers had been slippery on the damp cobblestones, how sluggish my reflexes had been regardless of my years of rugged varsity hockey.
‘I still can’t imagine how a daily man could possibly be so silly, or hypnotized, risking your life again and again for what you’ve confessed was the most effective adrenaline drug you’d ever been on.”
“Hey, don’t play the shrink still trying to figure me out.”
“Okay, just tell me what this has to do with ‘discipline’?”
“All proper, I meditate, to sit down as they are saying in Zen, not out of the self-discipline we knew as youngsters threatened by dad and mom ‘you better do this or else,’ however from a curiosity of how the thoughts operates. I’ve realized the precise mechanisms of how I’m deluded by my cherished beliefs.’
“Beliefs?”
“Yeah, all the ways that I’ve accepted pretty much without questioning where they came from my inherited convictions about just about everything.”
“Such as…”
“Go to school, get a job and everything will be fine. That formula for success and happiness, it turns out, was just a Disneyland fantasy. So are all the rest of the unexamined beliefs, convictions, assumptions, projections, conclusions, and unconscious biases about the world I imagine to be real.”
“Imagine to be real?”
“In Zen, we say that we don’t really see what’s in front of us, we simply project our idea of what’s there. We don’t really see anything. Even the most recent neuroscience proves that we are basically creating a mental construct of everything in our life. So, in Zen, we train for a mind that is flexible, not locked into certainty.”
“That’s pretty radical, my man.”
“Yeah, I said that too for the first thirty years of practicing Zen, but now it seems quite accurate. Like meeting a woman who we project is the one. After the honeymoon period, we realize we’d made her into Mrs. Right. Then it takes real commitment to make it work out. The same is true in meditation. I get to see all the fantasies my mind had made up to make sense out of my life.”
“And?”
“And after years on the cushion and dozens of ten-day silent retreats in a monastery, the barrier of resistance to being nonetheless begins to fade. After which, for me anyway, a love affair developed. It began out one thing like Romeo singing to Juliet on her balcony.”
“Romeo and Juliet?”
“Not exactly, but there was a longing for union, for completion, believing love will be fulfilled when the othe‘ comes down from her balcony. As if the Zen teacher could deliver what only lies within each Zen student. Then meditation moved into laughter, seeing the nonsense the mind fabricates about this love affair. As if what the Zen student seeks can be found in someone else, somewhere other than resting in the present moment of his own heart.”
“Hmmmm… But then why do we need Zen teachers?”
“Kind of like training wheels for a three-year old kid to learn how to ride their first bike. Once you get the hang of it, you don’t need them anymore.”
“Okay, and then…?”
“That’s when the love of meditation begins. When I sit, the Intelligence Knowing Itself showers this mind/body with a golden light, a well-being that no person could ever possibly give.”
“What? C’mon what is this light hallucination about? Sounds like you’re sincere, but kind of like delusional thinking, my brother.”
“Yeah, I can see why you’d think that. But every morning and evening, it’s not discipline that calls me to the cushion. It is the joy of stilling the mind enough that a quietude within can penetrate all the busyness and, when all the stories—the ongoing commentaries slow down, when a spaciousness of inner silence arises, this Zen student gets to enjoy the music.”
“Music?”
“Yeah, something like that. One Easter morning I went to a sunrise service at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. I bet a lot of people there weren’t Catholic, just a bunch of gray faces who were tired of winter and wanted an uplifting experience. The choir was world-class and known to restore faith, or at least hope that the long winter would end soon. That sunlight coming through the stained-glass windows, the lilies everywhere, the music, opened my heart. It was if the Holy Spirit had transformed into light. I regularly feel something like that every morning on my cushion.”
“Yeah, but,” the physician argued, “how long did it take for you to come to your senses? To start meditating?”
“My older brother had just returned to the family home after a three-month Zen retreat. He glowed. He was still the same very smart, funny, good-looking guy, but he had something that pulled me into his practice. That was 1965 and the beginning of my on-again, off-again dance with meditation.”
“Sounds like someone who can’t keep his New Year resolutions.”
“Yeah, I know, but facing the wall took grit, courage, and ultimately a desperation that nothing else would help me navigate the ups and downs of life.”
“Go on,” the Doc mentioned. “I am impressed with your tenacity. And surprised you survived all the high-risk jumps into stupidity.”
“It’s all thanks to the luck of meeting a Zen teacher who grabbed my attention, and I fell in love. Not with the person, but with that particular, almost a grandmotherly compassionate understanding, wisdom, and humor. Yes, the meditation practice was traditional Zen, but with much more liberal view on how to approach it. We learned that there’s no need of being hard on oneself for not measuring up to an imaginary ideal of how a serious person would practice. And after a couple of decades with this teacher, I began to notice the freedom in seeing my projections, beliefs, and assumptions as they roll across the inner screen while on the meditation cushion. Especially important, not to believe everything the mind says is absolutely true. That certainty in our convictions is death to the open spaciousness of the mind. And that the ancient Zen proverb seemed to be working in my life.”
“What proverb?”
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the student is really ready, the teacher disappears.”
The Doc took my hand, kissed it and positioned it over my coronary heart.
“You, my dear friend,” he mentioned, “are one lucky son of a gun to have survived near-death so many times, and landed in the lap of Zen realization.”
“Not sure about that, Doc. But I sure am happy and seem more capable to meet with clarity and humor whatever curve ball Life throws at me. And like Yogi Berra once said: ‘Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.’ So, all I can do is just keep swinging.”
“Okay, slugger. Knock it out of the park.”
—
iStock picture
The put up For the Love of the Recreation appeared first on The Good Males Mission.
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