The Aware Relationship: Methods to Carry Consideration to the Little Moments

I used to be working with a few of my purchasers and the topic of the “6 Second Kiss” got here up, there was some joking, some laughter, and naturally the query: Do we’ve to really rely it out?

In terms of learning how relationships work and the way our behaviors play an vital position within the success or failure, there is no such thing as a doubt the Gottman’s are on level as regular with this one.

So let me first reply the joking query: “Do we have to count out 6 seconds?”

The short and easy reply is after all NO.

The significance of the 6 second kiss is that it forces you to take time, to decelerate, to be current for that small second of your day, creating mindfulness in connection even in these tiny fast moments.

This isn’t in regards to the kiss or the 6 actual seconds, that is about presence!

A fast peck says “kiss partner goodbye: check!” There may be oddly nothing romantic about that.

However, a 6 second kiss says “I‘ll’ stop the world and melt with you”… (Thanks Fashionable English for a tremendous line!)

The purpose of the 6 second kiss is to show us all methods to decelerate, methods to cease within the midst of the chaos of our lives and simply maintain that magical house between two individuals for a small second in time.

Yoga has been part of my life for the higher a part of 25 years, flowing out and in of the follow, instructing for 13 of these years. The one best reward this follow has given me is the flexibility to be conscious in my life.

I would be the first to confess, I’m removed from excellent in the case of the conscious life however attempt to carry it into every thing I do and it has been a sport changer. Mindfulness has created a life for me that enriches my connections with all these round me and my self, it challenges me to decelerate, to be current, and to recollect what’s vital, regardless of the noise.

However lets be trustworthy, the yr is 2025, we’re in stress overload as a tradition, we’re both going going going, or we’re numbing numbing numbing. We spend extra time observing our telephones than into the eyes of our family members.

There was a put up in my instagram feed yesterday (sure I get the irony) and it was a part of a collection of artwork confronting life. It was an image supposedly drawn by a baby that confirmed the quintessential household stick figures besides the dad and mom didn’t have heads they had been solely the again of their telephones.

One other reminder that how we spend time with our family members issues in how they understand us as a lot because it does within the high quality and depth of our connections. So the query I’ve is that this:

Why is asking somebody for six seconds for a kiss a joke about do we’ve to rely this after we can stare at our telephones for hours in our companions presence?

So how will we broaden upon the 6 second kiss to be extra conscious in {our relationships}, what does that even appear like?

It seems like setting down your telephone, trying your associate within the eyes if you discuss, it seems like asking your self in case you are really current if you work together.

Instance: The opposite day I used to be cooking, my spouse got here in and began speaking, I glanced over my shoulder, barely made eye contact, after which proceeded to “listen” whereas I used to be stirring the pot. One thing inside me felt off, I noticed that I used to be not giving her my presence, I used to be merely making an attempt to multitask my manner via the interplay whereas making dinner.

This was my queue to get current! I turned down the range, circled, made eye contact and began actively listening to what she needed to inform me with out splitting my consideration between distractions.

It was this thread that has been working via my very own life and my teaching purchasers that jogged my memory that sure I used to be in the course of one thing, and in addition sure that I may decelerate and be current for the individual I like, to point out her she meant one thing, that I used to be fascinated about what she needed to say, and that she was vital to me.

It delayed dinner by a couple of minutes, and was 1000% price it!

Let this be your invitation to be current with these you’re keen on, an invite to place away distractions, to prioritize even the tiniest of moments with the intent to point out them you’re keen on them, that they’re vital, and that they’re price pausing the world for a second.

Relationships are arduous, the world round us isn’t slowing down for them and it’s as much as you to create the connection you and your associate crave.

As all the time, I’m round in the event you discover that you just and your associate want a bit of (or loads) of assist getting or staying heading in the right direction. You will discover me right here the place you’ll be able to join a free 15 minute session to see if we’re a great match for one another.

—

This put up was beforehand printed on medium.com.

***

Does relationship ever really feel difficult, awkward or irritating?

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Picture credit score: Alexander Gray on Unsplash

The put up The Aware Relationship: Methods to Carry Consideration to the Little Moments appeared first on The Good Males Venture.

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